Fear...fear wasn't much of a factor for Chris Redfield. He prided himself on his courage. It has not only saved his life, but his comrades' lives in the past as well. A beneficial factor. As fate would have declared it.. however, fear for the first time had entered his mind on July 24th: The Spencer Mansion incident. A feared day for the remaining S.T.A.R.S.
He had spent the majority of his time there in the mansion wandering, looking for something that wasn't trying to kill him at any opportunity they got; more specifically his team mates. They all had disappeared. He wanted his entire team to be safe, sure! Barry was a treasured family friend, Rebecca had proven useful and a trustworthy new friend...But in the back of his mind he was looking for one specific team mate: Jill Valentine. To him, Jill was not just a friend, not just a co-worker. He was captivated by everything about her, from her lean slender shaped body to her glistening soft pale greyish tinted - blue eyes, to the way she laughed at his jokes. She was to him, perfect in every sense. Nothing could replace her.. NOTHING. She was unique, and special. Beautiful in every single way.
What Wesker did to her... his trechary to them all.. made Chris' blood boil. He thought that he was his friend, not only just his boss, no. A friend. Him working for the Umbrella Corporation... The S.T.A.R.S units being under his command. Being foolish lead into a trap set by him... No.. don't think of that now Chris, he thought to himself. His clenched fist thrust tightly into his locker. ''Why? Why God dam it. Richard Aiken, Edward Dewey, Kevin Dooley, Enrico Marini, Kenneth J. Sullivan, Forest Speyer... ALL of Bravo team, DEAD. Because of me, no, because of that Bastard. He will pay for this.. I SWEAR on their graves. I shall avenge them.'' Chris took a deep, heavy sigh and pulled his arm to a close. Shaking, he looked at his fist, blood trickled like a river of tears down past his bruised wrist. It cooled, congealed. It was a relief to have some blood loss.. it made his pain feel like it went away. For a short time, that is. Until reality hit him again. He was in the locker room alone... Tears escaped across the threshold of his dirtied cheek, leading its own path of silver purity amongst the debris. No. He must be strong. For their sake.. for JILL'S sake. But if Brad had not of come back... Chris shook the thought away from his brain, he ALREADY had too much on his mind, not mentioning Chicken Vickers would be a significant ease.
He found his mind wandering to her quite frequently most days. He could find a way to relate Jill to anything he thought about. One thing he never expected though, was to actually be afraid he had lost her. The entire night, he had a pit in his gut; such a heavy sinking feeling. Deep enough for a great sorrow. Even when he found Rebecca, he was disappointed it wasn't Jill (though he was glad he had found her as well. The last of Bravo. A youngster of great adequate skill.)
Chris had nearly gone through the entire Arklay facility before he finally found her locked up in a small jail cell. He had actually contemplated that he might meet her as the undead. The thought of himself pulling the trigger on her formed a lump in his throat every time he thought about it. However, to his joy and surprise he found Jill's petite frame perched on the edge of that ratty bed, with a hand on her chin. She too was glad he had found her, so much, they shared an embrace of furious relief, their aching muscles being relieved by the contempt of each others warmth, despite the dirt and smell. They didn't care.
From killing the tyrant to comprehending Wesker's betrayal, Chris had been trying to contemplate too many things. However, when Jill laid her head to rest on his shoulder, her soundly sleeping beauty, the slight shifting of herself, the peaceful look on her face when she slept... she instantly cleared his mind. He placed his arm around her, wanting her to know that he wouldn't let anything else happen to her, even if it meant the end of him. He would much rather die to save her. The nobility of his actions would not lead to many consequences in his opinion. During the ride home he replayed the night in his mind. Like a dreaded never ending recurring nightmare. Getting lost in his mind wandering through the nightmares. Seeing his comrades dead, even having to kill them. He had seen Enrico die, when there was a fighting chance he might've survived if that bastard Wesker hadn't shot him for his revelations. He let out a small sigh, his way of grieving his lost team mates. He had a strange outlook on death ever since he lost his parents to a car wreck. That was all in the past, but Chris was oblivious to the idea of thinking of death, it secretly scared him, despite his musculus shell, behind it, inside he was dying, the pain, guilt and sorrow was killing him. What did death mean? He wondered this. He needed this to be explained to.
From the arrivance at the police station, he removed his arm from Jill as she awoke, but to his surprise she gently grasped it back, whispering softly yet faintly, 'Please...Stay' Chris thought that she was deluded. Why would she want HIM? There was many great men, apart from him, he was a failure. Chris for the first time since he found Jill, started to feel an ache of a smile form on his face, and a chuckle caught raspidly in his hoarse voice. In a half- heartedly chuckle he replied, 'Come on sleeping beauty, your carriage awaits' From this, Jill arose ever so suddenly with a warmth of red glowing from her cheeks. Her eyes glazed up at Chris and blabbered panicked, ''Oh.. What did I just say? Oh my.. I'm.. I'm sorry Chris.. I..'' after this, her timid eyes were seeking his forgiveness through Chris' impulsed eyes, Chris couldn't understand why she was doing this, there was nothing for her to be sorry for. ''Don't sweat it, Jill. You look beat.. do you need a hand getting off?'' She shyly nodded. Jill felt helpless and weak before Chris' knees. Being the gentleman he was, Chris helped Rebecca off the Helicopter first with a grasping hand. Barry followed independently, not needing help. He was the oldest of the 4, and was as hard as a bolder, eating a sandwich which he refereed to as 'Jill' as he lead his way out of the Helicopter. Barry winked art Jill as he said this. Chris wondered what happened to them both during their time at the mansion. He held this thought for now, as it was not a good time to bring up their hurtful past. 'Still', Chris thought to himself, 'How can Barry STILL have an appetite after today's shenanigan? He has an appetite for destruction alright, but I guess, it's just one of life's mysteries...' Coming back from his dazement of thoughts, he then turned to Jill, to help her out of the helicopter, but instead of grasping her hand and gently pulling her forward off the helicopter like what he did to Miss Chambers, to Jill's shock he gently shuffled his arm beneath her and over her lifting what little weight she had onto his support. He didn't dare to hurt her, especially what she's been through, but she felt cold, like a little China doll. She felt like a bag of bones, he was frightened that he would hurt her. She felt as fragile and unsteady as an ill being. Chris just wanted to make her smile.. make the pain go away, she didn't deserve to suffer. none of them did... Jill starting to feel even hotter screeched, ''CHRIS!? What are you doing!? You Muppet! Put me down you big Ape, you!'' With this, both of them giggled sheepishly, the pain had left their souls for a moment which felt like a decade from the slow motion of happiness. With Jill's remark Chris cooed like a Monkey making Jill giggle even further until her beautiful moonlight smile showed. ''Your desire is my command Miss Valentine.'' He gently let loose of her legs and decreased his height until she felt her feet meet contact with the stern ground. It felt good for her to be on secure ground. She inhaled the what seemed so clean air and whispered, 'It's good to be back... Thank you.. Chris..' Reality had struck her again, her smile turned into an everlasting frown. The enlightening disappeared. With a flick of a switch, the pain had hit her like a powerful M3 Shot gun blast to her delicate heart. With a gestured salute, she turned to Chris. Jill gave him a seemingly forced smile and a reluctant nod, which concerned him. He was trying to figure her out, she seemed so different than she was even yesterday and just a moment ago. Of course, he had remembered what fear felt like last night, which was unlike him. Perhaps this incident in the forest would change them all. He prayed it didn't change enough for he and Jill to not be close. He knew that she needed her.. She knew that she needed him.. they needed each other to survive... They just didn't know it yet. It's what their hearts desired...They wouldn't go on without the lost love.